Stay
by TurquoiseShine
Summary: AU. You never know what you have until you lose it. Tsubaki learned that the hard way. One-shot. Rated M for smut.


**A/N: **My first attempt on a TsuStar songfic one-shot, inspired by the song '_Stay_' by Rihanna. Will contain smut and other mature themes as well as angst and romance. Don't like, don't read. If you liked it, leave a review down below ;) I will appreciate it.

* * *

**Stay**

By TurquoiseShine

* * *

_All along it was a fever_

_A cold sweat hot-headed believer_

* * *

She hated him.

From the first day she met him, about ten years ago when they were just little kids running around; playing in the mud…she _hated_ him.

She was just eight years old when she decided to run outside and play at her mother's flower garden, gazing at the red camellias as she skipped around, the red camellia which was her name. _Tsubaki_.

Tired from all the running, she sat down and plucked out a red camellia from the flower bush behind her and scanned its petals, twirling it around in her small child-like hand. Even when the flower was plucked out, it still showed a bright red essence to her, as if it were still alive.

And that was when he showed up, being only two years older than her at the time and stood boldly in front of her.

"Hey Flower Girl. What'cha lookin' at?" He barked.

She ignored him. He was just another bully in her eyes.

But that went unnoticed to him.

"_I said_, _what'cha lookin' at_?" He stretched, his hands on his hips as he now looked down on her, given the advantage that he was a lot taller than her. He hated it when she ignored him.

"Nothing." She said in a small voice, still looking at the flower in her lap.

And that was when he noticed the flower for the first time that day so he audaciously picked the small flower off her lap and held it up to his face.

"Why are you so obsessed with this stupid flower? I swear, every time I come here to visit you you're always looking at those things! What's so special about it? It's just a meaningless puny little flower!"

She looked up at him. "It's not _puny_." She defended.

He barked out a laugh. "Yes it is! Just like you." And with that he flicked her on the forehead, causing her to fall back and then he crushed the flower in his hand, its petals falling slowly to the ground and stormed off, finally satisfied from pestering his one and only favorite victim.

She stared as the petals fell gracefully to the ground, wondering why he was so mean to her in the first place.

X.x.X

They were neighbors and lived in the same village, which was a very small one with a population of approximately thirty people, most of them being seniors. His house was right next to hers so it was easy for him to find her knowing well that she always liked to play outside at her mother's flower garden.

One day he went to bully her again and told her that she was ugly and looked like poop, the insult making her cry and run towards her mother, asking her why Black Star was so mean to her.

She smiled warmly and brushed a strand of jet black hair off her face. "It's because he likes you." She said.

Tsubaki shook her head vigorously and stated that it didn't make sense.

"_Life doesn't make sense…_" She said, her deep words sinking in her head.

X.x.X

Ten years later they met again at a bar located in downtown Manhattan. They had just graduated from high school and were looking for some fun so they could celebrate the occasion.

After her parents' death and only relying on her older brother for support, she moved to the United States where it was much easier to get an education. She enrolled in a public school, made a couple friends and graduated high school with flying colors.

But she never thought she was going to see _him_ again.

He was chugging down beers as if it were water, conversing animatedly with his buddies while having the time of his life.

Soul patted him on the back. "Congratulations man, I should give you some credit. You managed to pass the year."

Kid snorted. "Too bad it took him only two years to pass twelfth grade."

Black Star barked out in raucous laughter. "Hahaha shut up! At least I graduated!" He turned to Soul. "Oh and instead of giving me credit, why don't you pay my drinks?"

"Sure, man. Drinks are on me. How 'bout we go to a strip club after this?"

He grinned. "You're on."

Tsubaki wrinkled her nose in disgust. _Dickhead_, she thought.

She was a few seats away from him, sipping from her Cosmopolitan drink while gossiping with her friends, Liz and Maka, about the latest fashion trend.

Maka cocked her head to the side and glanced at Black Star from where she was sitting at. "Isn't that the guy who bullied you as a kid?" She asked her.

"Yeah." She answered. "Please don't look at him. I don't want him to see me."

Too late, though, noticing Tsubaki in a club full of girls was like finding a needle in a haystack.

Black Star's brow furrowed, having noticed Tsubaki for the first time in ten _freaking_ years. Who had known they both moved to USA to live the American dream?

Soul noticed Black Star's gaze was focused on a certain someone. He waved a hand in front of his face. "Dude…"

Kid helped by snapping his fingers in his face. "Earth to Black Star…"

But his gaze was still on Tsubaki. Holy shit, this couldn't be the puny little flower girl from his childhood in Japan, no fucking way.

She _changed_, he realized. She was now tall, around 5'7 at least, with long black hair tied in a Japanese-styled high ponytail, small blue eyes that highlighted her kind personality and full red lips.

The way she carried herself shyly around others gave him the idea that she was unaware of her looks, which made her a lot more appealing.

He reminded himself that she wasn't a little girl anymore; she grew up to be a beautiful young woman.

He debated whether he should approach her or not. What if she still held grudges against him? He remembered how he used to bully her every single day of her childhood, his goal to make her as miserable as he possibly could.

He decided not to approach her, but instead call out to her from where he was at.

"_HEY_! FLOWER GIRL!" He cried, his hands encircling his mouth to make his cries louder.

Knowing her, she'd probably ignore him. But he would just continue to call her the nickname he had given her as a kid.

And of course, she ignored him, continuing to talk to her friends as if he weren't there in the first place. Amidst the crowd of people talking over the music, anyone could be called 'Flower Girl'.

He decided to address her by her real name. "TSUBAKI!"

That was when her head shot up and whipped towards him. She frowned, his attitude already getting on her nerves, which was weird considering she was like the most patient human being to ever exist on the face of the Earth. But he was the only person known to break her patience.

He threw his hands up questioningly. "What? You're just gonna pretend that you don't know me? _After all we've been through_?"

"_Fuck off_!" She spat and stood up to leave the bar, her friends staring at her in confusion as she left.

Black Star looked hurt, but quickly shook off the feeling so his friends wouldn't notice. He wouldn't let anyone (no matter who it was) ruin his bravado in front of his friends.

"Who was that girl?" His white-haired friend asked.

"Just an old friend. Nothing much…" He said, his expression downcast.

* * *

_I threw my hands in the air and said, "Show me something,"_

_He said, "If you dare come a little closer."_

* * *

Tsubaki leaned against the edge of her bathtub in deep thought, the water reaching to her neck. She crossed her arms and gazed at her reflection on the surface. Sure enough, what she said towards Black Star the other night made her regret it the moment she arrived at her house, when she dashed towards her nightstand, pulled open her drawer beneath and grabbed the photo album her mother gave to her as a gift a week before she passed away.

She wiped out the dust on the cover and rummaged through the pages, skipping the photographs of her family, her parents and her brother until she got to the one which showed a sepia photograph of her and Black Star, the only photograph she had of him.

The picture was old-looking and wrinkled, as if it hadn't been touched in a very long time.

In the photograph, Black Star had roughly put his elbow on her head, messing up her hair while she looked up at him in vexation as if she was telling him to stop and the comment only made him tease her even more.

Regarding to how he treated her those ten years of her childhood, she managed to find something _positive _about it.

He made life worth living for her. If it wasn't for him, she would've been bored and dull throughout her entire childhood. She silently thanked him for it.

For the first time that day, she smiled and looked up to the ceiling as if she could see her mother and father up in heaven, wherever they were.

She would find a way to see him again.

X.x.X

The next day there was a heavy downpour at downtown Manhattan. That night, she fastened on her coat and hid the keys to her apartment in her coat pocket, locking the door securely behind her as she walked in a brisk pace down the stairs. She lived with her brother since he agreed to helping her pay rent as long as she cooked for him and she happily obliged.

Hopefully he wouldn't notice that she was gone.

Outside, she opened the umbrella she had carried along and headed towards the bar where she saw him the other night.

Surprisingly, he was there, but this time, he was alone.

She could tell by staring at his lone figure sitting by the bar from the back of the glass window while standing in the rain. She closed her blue umbrella and hesitantly went inside.

Despite the fact that it was raining _hard_ that night, the bar was packed to the rafters.

People talked and glasses clinked together as she shyly walked towards him, her hands shivering from the cold while she tried to come up with something nice to start a conversation with. She failed.

Black Star seemed to be deep in thought as he drank from his pint of beer. He didn't know that she was standing right behind him, still trying to think up a way to talk to him.

Her anxiety increased so she sat on a lone bar stool a few yards away from him and ordered a strong alcoholic drink to ease out her nerves. Black Star downed the rest of his beer and belched while Tsubaki twiddled with her fingers nervously.

_What can I say to him_? She thought, biting down on her perfectly manicured fingernails, a nervous habit she adopted as a little girl.

She pondered on this until she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. "Flower Girl." He said, poking her in the back.

She gasped, turned around and saw him for the second time that week. His facial expression constituted mainly of bewilderment…and probably, _disappointment_.

He raised his thin blue eyebrows in suspicion. "What are you doing here?"

Tsubaki stared at him in surprise. "I…I should ask the same for you." She stammered, unsure whether she meant it or not.

However, his expression didn't falter. "You know, I really didn't expect that ruthless remark you threw at me the other night."

She nervously looked to the side. "I know…and I'm sorry."

His face fell. "You're…sorry?"

She nodded.

Nevertheless, he shook his head. "No, if anything, _I_ should be the one who is sorry. I was the one who made your childhood existence a living hell."

"But you were still part of my long lost memories so I should thank you for that. If it weren't for you my childhood wouldn't be any better." She replied in her usual small voice.

He gawked at her strangely. "Let me get this straight. You're thanking me for having bullied you? Despite _everything _I did to you?" He asked disbelievingly.

Still, she nodded.

"You're weird, Flower Girl." He teased.

The teasing remark caused her to break out a smile. "I know."

It dawned on him that he hasn't seen her smile in a long time. He was thankful she did, for it made her appear even more _beautiful_ to him.

"Hold on, let me switch seats. Ya want something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine with what I have right now."

He grabbed his beer and went over to sit on the bar stool that was next to her, shifting around to face her. "So…" he began.

"So?" She eagerly asked, the tension between them already fading away.

"I mean, we haven't seen each other in…quite a while right?" He asked, unsure.

"I agree. Life's kinda short."

He scoffed. "Tell me about it, the last time we saw each other was at your parents' funeral. I'm sorry for your loss by the way."

"It's okay. Happened a long time ago, so the time that has passed definitely healed my wounds. Besides, my older brother made sure to take care of me all these years."

He scratched his ear. "Right, how's Masamune?"

"He's alright. He got a job as a waiter in a bistro not too far from here. He doesn't get paid much but it's still something."

"What about you?"

"Me? Well, ever since I graduated I decided to look for a job to save up money for college and managed to get a job as a florist in a nearby flower shop."

He chuckled. "Why am I not surprised?" At this moment he propped his elbow on the table and eagerly looked up at her.

She smiled. "Well I guess you're right on one thing. I like flowers."

He laughed out loud. "You always did! It used to be so annoying! I wanted to play with you and you thought that helping your mom plant camellias was a lot more fun than playing with _me_!"

She giggled. "Ah...nostalgia. Anyways…" She looked into his eyes. "What about you?"

"Meh…I'm thinking about avoiding college. For the moment there's nothing I want to study so I'm seriously considering on joining the US Army or something."

Her eyes widened. "T-The US Army?"

He grinned. "Yeah. I love anything that has to do with action or fighting."

"But it's dangerous. You could get hurt. Or worse…_killed_."

"It's okay, Flower Girl. I can defend myself. My father taught me how to fight the hard way. I took MMA classes, kickboxing and Taekwondo in my spare time. Not to mention I'm ranked as a freaking Black Belt!" He pushed up both of his sleeves and showed her the thick muscles he had on his arms.

He flexed them. "You see?" He smirked. "I didn't earn these bad boys for nothing!"

She was honestly surprised as she scrutinized his muscles a little longer than she would normally look at a guy. "I see. You're fit for this." She mused.

"Sure am." He wiggled his eyebrows seductively. "If you ever get in trouble you can always call me to save your damsel ass."

She blushed slightly. "Okay…"

"So…wanna get out of here? I feel like we should talk some more since we still have a whole lot of stuff to catch up on."

She smiled again. "I'd like that."

* * *

_Round and around and around and around we go…_

_Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me know you know…_

* * *

After a couple romantic dates, consisting of getting to know each other in depth while going around the city, they found themselves falling deeper and deeper in love as years passed. Black Star never thought he would meet the love of his life (_never even thought it would be Tsubaki in the first place_) but as he recited his wedding vows for the first time while holding her hand, he just _knew_ that they were destined to be together.

It just took the right time and the right moment to realize it.

"As long as we're together I promise I will love you for the rest of my life. I promise I will hold you, care for you while you're sick and nurture you. I promise I'll protect you, defend you against harm and not let anything bad happen to you." A tear of happiness slowly fell down his cheek. "I will always love you."

Tsubaki smiled and teared up as well as she started to recite her own vows. "I promise I'll help you through life and hardships. I promise I'll make things better and worth living for you. I promise I'll cook your favorite food." The last statement made the audience constituted of friends and family members laugh heartedly as well as Black Star.

"But more importantly, I promise I'll love you and only you…for the rest of my life until I die." _Amen_, she added in her mind.

After they recited their vows, exchanged their rings and the mutual _I do_'s, the priest smiled and blessed them with a final: "You may now kiss the bride."

They happily sealed their marriage with a kiss as the audience broke into applause.

* * *

_Not really sure how to feel about it._

_Something in the way you move…_

* * *

Right after the wedding ceremony was over, most of the guests reunited outside of the church to congratulate on the newlyweds. Most of the people who went to the wedding were Black Star's friends from school as well as Tsubaki's clan and closest friends.

Once again, Soul praised him with a friendly pat on the back as well as a man-hug. "Man, I never thought a guy like you'd stay entitled to one girl, much less marry her. You definitely have my blessing."

He grinned. "I love you, man."

"I love you too." They exchanged a quick bro-hug.

Then it was Kid's turn. "Well, well, well. This was very unexpected of you. Congratulations, she's a beauty." He said, referring to his wife, Tsubaki.

"Thanks. She is." He said in a dream-like state.

"As of now, I feel like hitting on one of the bridesmaids." Soul remarked.

"Really?" Black Star mused. "Which one?"

"The blonde one."

"They're _both_ blonde." He reminded him.

"I mean the shaggy blonde haired one with green eyes."

"That's Maka, her best friend from high school. I wish you luck, man. She's a tough one to handle."

He grinned, baring his trademark sharp teeth. "Just my type of woman."

The bluenette turned to his other friend, Kid, but found that he was already on the other side talking to Tsubaki's other best friend, Liz. The blonde girl was with her sister at the moment and was currently having small talk with Kid. She seemed happy.

"Well…" Soul began. "Have fun on your honeymoon with Tsubaki. I'm gonna go talk to flat chest over there." And with that he turned on his heel and left.

On the other hand, Tsubaki was with her brother after most of her family and friends congratulated her on the marriage and left her by herself. Masamune appeared shortly to have a one-on-one conversation with her.

"Look at you." He smiled, twirling her around, her dress shining brightly in every different angle.

"I'm certain that wherever Mom and Dad are, they're both proud of you. You look beautiful."

The heart-warming compliment made her wipe a stray tear from her eye. "Oh stop it you. As if I didn't cry enough today."

He chuckled. "You made the right choice on marrying Black Star. I bet Mom wanted you to marry him all along."

Her eyes lit up. "You think so?"

He smiled. "I _know _so." His eyes swiveled towards the bluenette that was standing at the end of the hallway, waiting for her.

"Your husband awaits." Tsubaki cocked her head to the side and he gestured to look behind her.

She did and he was standing right there where she left him, in all his glory.

"Go." Her brother urged.

She smiled, grabbed the hems of her dress and walked towards him, their gazes fixated on each other.

* * *

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you._

_It takes me all the way._

* * *

She taught him the religious ways of life and how to stay committed to God, she helped him _believe_. Before, he used to party hard and sleep with different girls every week, thinking that he'd never be in a commitment like marriage in the first place. Most of the girlfriends he had were shallow and egotistical, _hell_; he _used_ to be an egotistical asshole. But that all changed when he met Tsubaki, his childhood friend, worst enemy turned into best friend and later…_lover_.

The only girl to ever tug on his heartstrings, something he thought was impossible to begin with. She was just so, so _different_ from the rest. She was always polite towards others even when she let others walk all over her, because he knew well how bad things always happened to good people, how they were always used and abused and harshly taken advantage of. That's one of the main reasons why he learned to defend himself. But he wouldn't let anyone take advantage of her. Not as long as he was around. He'll make sure to not let anything, _anything _bad happen to her. He promised that in his wedding vows.

When he said he loved everything about her, he _meant_ it. Literally, everything about her was beautiful. The way she would pout when he teased her, her smile, her kind blue eyes, her long black hair (so long he could get lost in it), the way she arranged flowers for her customers, the creamy pink swells of her breasts, the tiny birthmark on her lip, the way she grabbed her elastic band with her mouth while brushing her hair, the way she took small bites out of her food before tasting it…_everything_.

The first thing in the morning before he woke up was the delicious smell wafting from the kitchen. She would always wake up before him to make breakfast for the two. Then his friends would wonder why he was so madly in love with her in the first place, her food was the best and she always cooked it with love and dedication.

"Why don't you become a chef?" He idly asked.

"Say what?"

"I said why don't you become a chef? You're very good with food; you might as well make a career out of it." He suggested.

She giggled. "I'll think about it."

X.x.X

Their love wasn't going to last for long, apparently Black Star really did mean what he said the second time he saw her that he was going to enroll in the army, something she disapproved of in the first place.

After a long argument regarding to his final decision, he heaved out a sigh and said: "I'm sorry, Tsubaki. But I figured this is what I really want to do. I want to fight against bad people; I want to serve my country. I want to be recognized as a hero among others."

She frowned. "I understand, but I don't want anything to happen to you." She suddenly hugged him, surprising him at first but he hugged her back. "I love you." He whispered into her ear.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, causing him to scoop her up in his arms and carry her towards the bed they now shared together.

He supported his hands on the sheets and lowered himself to deepen the kiss, while Tsubaki reached up to unbutton his shirt. He allowed her to strip him off his shirt while she hastily took off her blouse, revealing her now hardened nipples.

He massaged them gently with his hands while kissing her and she moaned into his mouth.

With one hand he held her body firmly in place, knowing well she had a tendency to squirm a lot whenever he fingered her and used the other to unzip her jeans and stuck his hand down her panties until it rested on her pleasure spot.

He rubbed her clitoris right, knowing which spots to touch and which ones he shouldn't, causing her to writhe under his grasp. She gasped and cried out his name, the pleasure invading her lower stomach like fire.

"Make love to me." She moaned out seconds later.

He kissed her softly on the forehead. "Anything for you, beautiful."

He unzipped his pants and removed his boxers, letting them fall to the floor and lied on top of her.

He went in slowly at first then picked up the pace, her breasts rubbing themselves against his chest and he loved the feeling of it all, feeling her walls tighten around his throbbing core, the way she mewled his name, everything.

Since he had to follow with Tsubaki's religious beliefs on saving her virginity before marriage, he touched himself during many nights imagining how sex with her would feel like, but he never imagined it to be something so _bliss_.

That was, when he buried his head on the space between her breasts after he finished and kissed the birthmark she had near her right nipple and realized that he would never _ever_ love someone else other than her…

* * *

_I want you to stay…_

* * *

He left the next day.

Black Star would finally pursue his dream and she respected him for that.

But still it didn't stop her from bawling her eyes out when he had to say good-bye, remind him countless times that he could always stay here where he was supposed to be, but all he did was shake his head and promise that he would return.

And she believed him.

"I'll pray for you." Were her final words before he got on the plane and headed towards Iraq.

She watched the plane leave from behind the glass window.

* * *

_It's not much of a life you're living_

_It's not just something you take – it's given_

* * *

He shaded his eyes from the harsh sunlight, reminding himself to stay alert at all times.

His comrades warned him the enemy was near so he hid behind a haystack for cover, brandishing the AK-47 rifle in his hands.

"Get down! I repeat! Get down!" One of them cried.

"Goddamn it! I said get down!"

He ducked his head even lower.

Then the shooting began. The enemies closed in, brandishing their weapons as they mercilessly shot soldiers down in their way. So far, two fellow soldiers were killed.

This was a lot harder than he thought. He didn't even need his strength or fighting skills to survive, only rely on different weapons to protect himself. He wasn't even that adept with guns.

Plus he had to duck for cover when the commander said so, shoot the enemy when the commander said so, and take breaks when the commander said so…

And it didn't help that the missions became increasingly difficult as time passed.

He even wondered if he could make it back home. But then he took out the random photograph he had of Tsubaki and reminded himself the promise he made to her.

_I will return even if my life depended on it_…he thought.

* * *

_Round and around and around and around we go…_

_Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me know you know…_

* * *

When his mission was over, he took a bus towards Baghdad and flew back to New York City in record time. She was waiting for him at the airport and once she saw him she ran towards him and he stood there smiling with open arms, embracing her tightly as he spun her around.

Some of the bystanders smiled as they watched the happy couple interact.

* * *

_Not really sure how to feel about it._

_Something in the way you move…_

* * *

They held hands during the whole entire ride back home, and hungrily made out with each other once they got inside the apartment, their bodies strongly aching for each other.

Tsubaki stripped off her clothes until she was in all her naked glory and beckoned him to follow her towards the bathroom.

They had wild uninhibited sex in the shower and it was a lot better than last time. He locked his hands with hers, held them against the wall as he _fucked _her from behind.

After they were both done, he carried her towards the bed and plopped her down, getting on the bed as well as he lifted the covers up and fell in a deep sleep.

* * *

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you._

_It takes me all the way._

* * *

A few months later he informed her he would leave again for an important mission at Afghanistan and she got upset. This time he would be touring throughout the whole entire Middle East until they end up in Vietnam, which could last for a span of two years at least.

"No…" She insisted.

"This time you won't come back."

_What about our plans for the future? I always wanted to have a child with you._ She wanted to add but felt that if she voiced it out it would only serve to heighten his anger.

"Please stay…"

She told him that ever since she brought red camellias to her flower shop, the business increased and now everyone wanted to buy red camellias, since they only grew in Asia.

She no longer needed to enroll in college; she had enough money to sustain both of them for three years. All she wanted was for him to stay.

They even changed the flower shop's name in her honor. It was now called _Tsubaki's flowers_.

"Well, you're living your dream but now I want to live _my _dream."

She vehemently shook her head. "Not like this. When will I see you?"

"Give me just two years. Once I'm promoted, I'll come back."

She looked at him sternly. "Please…?" He begged, getting on one knee. She smiled, remembering when he proposed to her for the first time.

"Okay." She finally said.

But why can't she shake this deep-gut feeling that this was going to be the last time she ever saw him again?

* * *

_I want you to stay…_

* * *

"We're almost there." The commander of the troop he was in, said. "Once we arrive at the base, we're going to separate into groups of two and search around the area." He scanned the attendance list on his clipboard. It was easier to address them by their surnames.

"Jones shall be paired up with Lewis. Carter shall be paired up with Gonzalez…" He went over every single name on the list until Black Star perked up at his last name being mentioned.

"Star shall be paired up with Patel."

At that moment, the vehicle came to a stop. "We're here." He announced.

The soldiers climbed out of the vehicle and stayed with their assigned partners. Some found shelter under a bridge, others behind an abandoned building and some even went inside a shed.

"Wait…what were we supposed to do in the first place?" Black Star asked his partner.

His partner, who was a Canadian black man in his late twenties, shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't you listen to the captain?"

"Yeah…but what was the mission exactly?" He hedged.

"Scan the area and report if we find anything suspicious." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh."

Sure, they found something suspicious alright, a few seconds later after their short interaction, they heard a comrade soldier scream for them to run and they turned on their heel the other direction, the shootout being executed somewhere in the base.

BANG! BANG!

Both Patel and Black Star instinctively ducked. The bullet merely scraped the top of his helmet.

_Shit, that was close…and I'm just barely starting…_He thought, his brain currently on panic mode.

"Fuck! Where should we go?"

"We have to find cover or else we'll both get killed!" His partner told him. "QUICK!" He yelled over the noise.

One…two…three more soldiers down.

The enemies were clearly winning.

Patel took his hand and dashed towards the abandoned building, dragging Black Star along with him.

The bullet noises never seemed to stop, only increasing as the seconds ticked by and more soldiers piled up on the death rate. This mission wasn't easy at all, he thought.

How will he manage for a year? Let alone _two_? He should've listened to Tsubaki.

But it was too late, he's already here. Now he has to finish what he started. There isn't a Go big or go home. It's either Go big or _die_.

Once they went inside the two-story abandoned building, he leaned against the wall, slid down from it and continued panting breathlessly.

"We made it at least." Patel breathlessly said.

"They're gaining on us." He exhaustingly said.

"Yep."

He looked out the window but instantly regretted what he saw.

More soldiers in his troop being knocked out coldly as the enemy troops shot everyone down. The soldiers he had made friends with while being on tour…knocked out coldly on the ground…

He blinked away tears. He couldn't wallow up in sadness, at least not now.

But Patel turned him away from the horrifying sight. "Just don't look."

He sniffed. "I'll try not to."

* * *

_Oh the reason I hold on_

_Oh cause I need this hole gone…_

* * *

They sought cover inside the building for at least a few weeks. They came out at night whenever it was time for them to eat and back inside when the enemy troops closed in again.

Black Star bravely dashed out to shoot back all the enemies that had killed his fellow comrades, but knew when to duck back for cover. As months passed he recognized their daily routines, such as the time they started shooting, the time it takes for their guns to recharge and the times when they're at their weakest.

The total of soldiers who started the mission were approximately forty five. But now they were only about twelve left, including him and Patel.

It was nightfall and the remaining soldiers decided to build a campfire.

Tomorrow they would head towards Pakistan first thing in the morning.

"Let's all give thanks to God for the fact that we're still alive and going." The leader, Gonzalez said.

"Amen." The rest of them said in unison.

"Let's also remember our fallen comrades who died serving our country. May God bless each and every one of them." He shakily said, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"Amen."

"Let's bow our heads and pray, fellow soldiers."

Black Star bowed his head and prayed for safety and protection. He also prayed for Tsubaki and hoped that she wouldn't feel so lonely back at New York. He honestly couldn't live without her. He wished with all his being that his love reached all the way from Afghanistan to New York City so Tsubaki could catch it in her hand and keep his love inside a jar. He wanted to send all his love and affection to Tsubaki inside a small box, but knew it was impossible.

So all he could pray for was that God sent a message through the sky to Tsubaki and let her know that he was still alive.

He sealed his prayer with a silent _Amen_ and slowly opened his eyes.

* * *

_Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving_

'_Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving…_

* * *

They arrived at yet another base located at a small town in Pakistan.

The captain assigned them to their usual pairs and once he gave them the signal, they broke out into their usual groups and sought cover before attacking the enemies.

It was as if they were playing a game of hide n' seek. Black Star's troop was the one who hid; the enemies were the ones who were seeking.

Another shootout began.

In a matter of three minutes, two soldiers were knocked out. These enemies moved along faster than the ones they had to face up against back at Afghanistan.

The bad part was that the area they were now assigned at didn't have much shelter for ducking.

Only a few more haystacks that were cut to shreds due to the bullets piercing through them and a lone shed somewhere in the distance.

A scream was heard, meaning that an enemy was shot down.

The mission only lasted for two days and not a few months like last mission.

Daylight turned to afternoon as the amount of enemies decreased to only three more left and the soldiers narrowed down to ten. Black Star's troop had the upper hand in the war.

Another scream was heard.

"Only two more left." He reminded himself.

Patel grinned. "Oh yes."

At that moment, Soldier Gonzalez showed up. "Guys, I have good news. Right after this is over, the commander's gonna let us have a two-month vacation so we can come back stronger than ever!"

Black Star fist-pumped. "Yes! I'll finally be able to see my wife!"

"Me too!" Patel cried excitingly.

They bumped fists together.

"Sorry to break it to you guys but we still have to finish this mission." Soldier Carter pointed out.

"Right. Let's do this." The bluenette said.

They fastened their helmets on and separated themselves from each other again.

* * *

_Not really sure how to feel about it._

_Something in the way you move…_

* * *

Tsubaki looked out the window, wondering when he'll be back again.

All those nights, she slept alone, hugging his pillow to breathe in his scent, until his scent faded and she longed for him to sleep right next to her.

She prayed for his safety.

Please be safe, she thought sadly, a stray tear cascading down her cheek.

* * *

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you._

_It takes me all the way…_

* * *

BANG! BANG! BANG!

It wasn't over _yet_.

The two enemies left standing opted for hiding for cover until they strike at the right moment.

Black Star moved from his hiding spot and shot them mercilessly. When the banging sounds were over he checked to see if they were dead. They weren't, so he went back to his hiding spot.

Then he shot them back again. He did a quick check. Nothing.

"Star! You were killing decoys!" Patel screeched.

He tilted his head to the side in confusion and walked slowly towards the stack of bricks where he thought the two enemies were hiding at.

"Don't go there! It's a trap!"

But he didn't listen.

Once he reached the other side, he scanned what exactly was behind the stack of bricks, only to realize it was just a weird-looking scarecrow.

_Huh_? He thought.

He inspected the funny-looking scarecrow closely. It even donned a uniform.

It suddenly dawned on him.

When he realized what _exactly_ was happening, he received a deft blow to the head.

"NO!"

X.x.X

She hated him.

It was the most miserable day of her existence.

She thought it would be the best day of her life, when she took a pregnancy test and got positive but then it turned out to be the worst when she received a letter from his friend Patel back at Pakistan, informing her that her husband was found _dead_.

_Dear Mrs. Star,_

_I know you must be waiting anxiously for your husband's return but unfortunately something happened to him during our mission at Pakistan. I know how bad this can get so I'll be brief. Our fellow comrade, Black Star, died serving our country._

_The bullet must have lodged itself in some part of his brain. There's no way he can survive. He was rushed to the nearest hospital in Karachi but the doctor only told us that he had a brain hemorrhage. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. He'll be missed dearly._

_God bless you,_

_-Andrew Patel_

She set the letter down on her desk and sobbed miserably, wondering why he had to go, why this had to happen to him, _him_ of all people…why? _Why_?

She will no longer hear him laugh; she will no longer hear his jokes, his compliments on her cooking, his teasing remarks, being called 'Flower Girl'...none of that. Gone. All of it.

As she lied in her bed, wallowing up in silenced sorrows, she figured that everything happened for a reason. If she couldn't find a good one, she might as well settle with what she had.

God blessed her with a baby and Black Star only served to help her so she would now take care of his child. She would remain faithful no matter what.

But she couldn't help but think.

Why Black Star? _Why_?

There was a moment in which she cursed at him, but then kept herself from insulting him if he was already dead. What would be the meaning anyway? He was not around anymore.

You could have stayed.

Why didn't you listen to me?

Why Black Star? _Why_?

She lied on her back and stared up at the ceiling blankly, long tear tracks trailing down her face.

Tsubaki lifted up her shirt and rested a hand on her stomach, feeling the small life form grow inside, just for a second...and smiled. She hoped it was a boy, so she could name him after his father. In the back of her mind she knew that wherever Black Star was, he would be proud of her.

* * *

_I wanted you to stay…_

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
